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"We're not speaking." When you hear those words, you know what they mean. In our culture, to stop speaking to someone is a euphemism that means there has been a breach in the relationship. When you're "not speaking" to someone, you are estranged from him. You avoid him and try to pretend like he doesn't exist.

This euphemism for estrangement gets at how central communication is to nurturing a relationship. When you have chosen to stop speaking to someone, you have chosen to stop maintaining that relationship; you've chosen to let it die. The idioms of our speech show that we know this intuitively.

And while it may be obvious that, under ordinary circumstances, you can't have a relationship with a human you don't talk to, it is apparently not obvious to most that communication should be at the center of their relationship with their creator. They give thanks on holidays or for a financial windfall, and they blame God when suffering impinges on their pursuit of happiness. But they rarely, if ever, talk to Him.

The Scriptures teach that God does not want mere acknowledgement from us; He wants a relationship with us! It is for this reason that we are so often commanded to pray. We should not see prayer as a duty. Prayer is the marrow of our faith, and I would go so far as to say that true faith cannot exist apart from communion with God.

In 1 Thessalonians 5:17, Paul commands us to "Pray without ceasing." If we think of prayer as a duty, this command seems to set up an impossible standard. If, instead, we think of prayer as communion with the One who loves us best, the command becomes a precious privilege.

How does one manage to pray without ceasing? Does this mean we should simply pray "on the fly," abandoning times of concentrated prayer? In answering this question, I find Charles Spurgeon's advice (from a sermon called "Pray Without Ceasing") to be helpful:

"Though all hours are alike to me, I find it profitable to meet with God at set periods, for these seem to me to be like the winding up of the clock. The clock is to go all day, but there is a time for winding it up; and the little special season that we set apart and hedge round about for communion with our God, seems to wind us up for the rest of the day. Therefore, if you would pray without ceasing, continue in the offering of the morning and the evening sacrifice, and let it be perpetually an ordinance with you, that your times of prayer are not broken in upon."

Of course, even if you are willing to speak to someone else, you can't really have a healthy relationship unless you let them speak to you. God expects our communication to go both ways. We are told that his word should abide in us. What does it mean to have words abide in you? Think back to the time when your spouse (if you are married) first told you that he or she loved you. Did those words go in one ear and out the other? Chances are they abided in you, influencing your mood, your behavior, and even the purpose of your whole life!

The relationship that God offers to us is too precious to let die from lack of communion. Talk to God, and take to heart what He has said to you; you may be surprised at just how rich your relationship with your maker can be.


Betsy Childs is associate writer at Ravi Zacharias International Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia.


"The paradox of Christ is that when you give yourself to him, you'll find you have more of your own self than ever." -CS Lewis (Mere Christianity